Mother of the Year

I realize that I have had countless opportunities over the years to receive Mother of the Year. I probably should not recap them all in one blog because I don’t want you, my dear readers, to feel less than perfect and stop reading. However, the one that occurred yesterday was quite amazing so I will tell it. Please don’t feel like a crappy Mom…I am, after all, Mother of the Year.

My birthday was the a few days ago. My sweet Mother got me a “Shake Weight”. I think that gift will be a whole blog of its own. A Shake Weight??? I mean, I get that my arms wave an extra minute after I am done saying goodbye but to actually buy me a Shake Weight for my birthday?? Ouch!! And from my Mother! Isn’t she the one who is supposed to lie and tell me I look awesome no matter what?

Anyway, yesterday my sweet 6 year old Jilliann was sitting on the couch with me watching Good Morning America. She said she was going to open the Shake Weight and play with it. “Sure”, I though. “Play with the dumb thing”. I heard her go over to the table and within a minute or so I heard her say “I cut myself”. It was one of those voices that I knew she really cut herself but I just told her to come to me because I like that new Josh guy on GMA so I didn’t want to get up. Of course there was blood everywhere…but she knew not to get it on the carpet!!!

I took her to the sink and washed it off. She was freaking out but I was super calm. I am great in crisis mode! (Mother of the Year). I told her to look in my eyes and take some deep breaths. When she calmed down enough I got a rag …a clean one…and held pressure on it. I took her to the couch. Then shock set in and she was sweating and dizzy and nauseous. I was laughing hysterically. It was so cute how dramatic it was for her.

I finally got around to asking her what happened and she told me she was using a knife to open the box. NICE!!! Yep, told you I am an awesome Mother. I decided it looked like stitches were needed. It wasn’t a big cut at all but it was kinda deep and in a weird spot. Off to the ER. On the way to the ER she begged me not to take pictures and post them on Facebook. She didn’t want anyone to see all the blood…plus she didn’t brush her hair before we left. OMG!! She is sooo my child.

In the ER I told them she was opening a gift that had a “clam shell” package and she cut her hand on that. I gave her a “LOOK” and like the good girl I trained her to be she didn’t say a word. Does the ER really need to know she had a big ole knife??? A cut is a cut, right? Thankfully they were able to use surgical glue and we thwarted the need for stitches. She had a Popsicle and we watched TV for an hour.

When we got home I told her she could cut the hospital band off with the knife she used to cut herself but she screamed "NO" so I think she won't be playing with knives for a little while! She is now milking it for all it is worth. We are heading out to get pedicures. She needs beautiful toes if her hand is messed up!! Oh, and she did give me permission to blog about it as long as there were no pictures!! One of the many reasons why I should be Mother of the Year!!